James and I are creatures of habit, even though I like to pretend that I’m not by reminding people that I won’t eat the same thing for more than two days running. It’s the simple truth: I live in my habits. Back in January when we started realizing our marriage had been put after our kids, we decided to change our lives and keep our marriage first.
You see, I love my girls dearly and they are a big part of my world, but they are not the only part of my world. Not to mention I wouldn’t even have them without James. So in my book James and our marriage come first after God. While James and I agree on our priority, sometimes and some days it is hard to keep each other first before all the chores and obligations. Our solution to the problem of how to prioritize your marriage is a schedule.
Not only do we have the nightly schedule that James created for us, we also have a couples schedule that we created together. We sat down and discussed what we thought was important to ourselves and for our marriage and we worked out a system that allows us both to get what we want done and have time for each other and the girls.
Here’s what a typical schedule looks like for us:
|Sunday||6 – 9 am||Slightly lazy morning – breakfast, get ready for church|
|10 am – 12 pm||Church and lunch|
|1 – 3 pm||Naps for the girls, food prep for Mommy and Daddy|
|3 – 6 pm||Play time with the girls, dinner|
|6 – 8 pm||Bath time for the girls, clean up, get ready for new week|
|8 -10 pm||Couples Bible study, snuggles, talking in bed. Lights out at 10.|
|Monday||5 – 7:30 am||Breakfast, individual Bible study, prayer time, quiet time before the girls get up|
|7:30 – 5:30 pm||Work for James and SAHM duty for me|
|5:30 – 8 pm||Dinner, bath time, clean up, get ready for next day|
|8 – 10 pm||Writing time, in bed by 10|
|Tuesday||5 am – 8 pm||Same as Monday|
|8 -10 pm||Writing time, in bed by 10|
|Wednesday||5 am – 8 pm||Same as Monday|
|8 – 10 pm||Individual activity sometimes away from home sometimes not, in bed by 10|
|Thursday||5 am – 8 pm||Same as Monday|
|8 – 10 pm||Home date night|
|Friday||5 am – 8 pm||Same as Monday|
|8 – 10 pm||Cleaning and laundry (if not done during the week), writing, in bed by 11|
|Saturday||6 – 8 am||Slightly lazy morning – breakfast|
|8 – 12 pm||Go on a family outing|
|12 – 3 pm||Lunch and nap time, individual activity|
|3 – 6 pm||Play time with girls, dinner, every two weeks Mommy and Daddy have a afternoon/evening date usually home by dinner|
|6 – 8 pm||Dinner, bath time, get ready for church|
|8 – 11 pm||Writing/Individual activity, in bed by 11|
The schedule above is a typical week not every week works out like that. Life happens and we adjust. We just try to get back on track the next day or time block, if possible. Scheduling really helps us. When left to our own devices we often found ourselves staring at each other asking “what do you want to do?” and never coming up with an answer.
Do you use schedules to prioritize your marriage? What works for you?
Have a blessed day!